The right way to respond to constructive criticism
Negative feedback can be a good thing. You just have to learn how to use it to your advantage.
Everyone wants to be acknowledged for a job well done, but few want the same treatment for a job that's not so well done. The thing is, constructive criticism is meant to help you, not hurt you—honest! So while it's uncomfortable to hear what you've done wrong at work, what you're not good at, or where you have areas for improvement, it's crucial to your professional development.
“We take pride in our work, and it is hard not to take professional feedback personally,” says Angelina Darrisaw, founder of the New York City–based career-coaching firm C-Suite Coach. “To deal with this, first try to assume that the feedback is coming from a good place and that your boss wants you to be successful. Even high performers need to constantly sharpen their skills.”
If you learn to really listen to constructive criticism, interpret it correctly, and act on the feedback, you’ll come out of a not-so-great performance review, or even just an uncomfortable conversation, ahead of the game, no matter what stage of your career.
Put yourself in your boss’s shoes
Accepting constructive criticism starts by shifting your perspective to your manager’s point of view, which makes the feedback easier to reckon with. For instance, your opinion may be that you’re missing deadlines because they’re unrealistic and you’re multitasking multiple projects. Your boss’s opinion may be that you’re missing deadlines because you don’t think they are important or because you have lousy time-management skills. The key is to have an honest and respectful conversation and consider each other’s perspectives.
“If you can see things from their point of view, you can better understand that person, which is invaluable when it comes to working relationships,” says Dr. Leah Weiss, a researcher and professor at Stanford Graduate School of Business.
Reflect on constructive criticism before you react
Your first instinct to any critique, even helpful criticism, might be to get defensive, explain your actions, or shut down—instead of evaluating whether there is any validity to what's being said about you.
Take a day or two to reflect. Think about whether the other person might have a point. Maybe you could be more vocal when you think you’ll miss a deadline, say “no” to projects if you’re swamped, or find ways to increase your productivity. “It’s hard to do this if you reply right away, so it’s best to take a few moments or longer,” Weiss says.
“Take a deep breath and ask yourself the following,” she says. “Did the feedback point out something you didn’t think of? Was it something that you can admit needs work or improvement? Did the person give you actionable steps towards fixing the problem?”
Ask how you can improve
As much as you may want to run out of the building when confronted with constructive criticism—and as humbling as this may feel—don’t leave the conversation without getting clarity on how you can improve. Nothing pleases a boss more than the sense that her feedback is being heard, and that an employee has a genuine willingness to improve.
Darrisaw recommends asking questions to understand the feedback and develop goals. “Consider asking your boss to offer suggestions and work with you on a plan to get better,” Darrisaw says. “Get her to be as specific as possible, then work on creating some goals to measure your progress.”
Turn the negative into a positive
Now that you know where you have room to improve and you’ve created an action plan, it’s time to make some changes. (Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?)
Based on the conversation you had with your boss, write up an action plan and put it on your desk so that it’s top of mind. Try to hit one small goal each day and one big goal each week, then follow up with your boss once you feel like you’ve improved and met (or exceeded) your goals.
“Return to the source of the constructive criticism and ask if they’ve seen any observable changes,” says Dr. Vijayeta Sinh, a psychologist at her New York City–based practice NYC Family Therapy. “Others appreciate your taking in what they said and are more willing to help you when you are gracious and humble about yourself."
Constructive criticism is a valuable tool for your professional development, so it's important not to dismiss it or get angry when confronted with it. Make a concerted effort to build your skills, especially in areas where you're weak. Could you use some help staying ahead of the curve? Join Monster for free today. As a member, you'll get career advice, job search tips, and workplace insights sent directly to your inbox. From learning how to communicate better to bolstering your leadership abilities, you can take steps to become a stronger employee—one who companies are on the lookout to hire.