How To Stop Complaining at Work

Work is work. It's not always going to be fun.

You're going to have boring projects, difficult coworkers, and encounter managers who make you want to quit, start a Slack channel detailing how demanding they are, or complain to anyone who will listen. But that can backfire — big time. Instead, learn how to stop complaining at work and air your grievances in a way that's positive and offers solutions.

In this article, we cover:

  • Why constantly complaining at work isn't the best idea.
  • Work complaints that can actually be helpful.
  • Actionable strategies to complain less and strategize more.

Ready to swap your grievances for professional growth? Let's dive in and discover how to make your workdays better than ever!

Why Complaining at Work Is Problematic

Sure, it feels great to let off steam, but no one wants to be known as the resident gossip or Debbie Downer. No matter how valid your concerns might be, voicing them too frequently, in the wrong way, or to the wrong people can lead managers and coworkers to believe you don't enjoy your job and aren't a team player, which means they might hesitate to suggest you for promotions and other professional opportunities.

Being mindful of how to stop complaining at work means identifying if your complaining is problematic. Signs you complain too much include:

  • Venting about the same things repeatedly without offering solutions.
  • Struggling to express frustration and negativity in a productive way.
  • Feeling stuck in a negativity loop or cycle of dissatisfaction.
  • Noticing coworkers appear uncomfortable around you.

Though complaining might seem harmless, it can spread — not only to the rest of your team, but also within your psyche. Studies show that every time you find something wrong with your work environment, you are rewiring your brain to look for more disadvantages, making it tougher to solve what isn't working since you are keeping yourself (and everyone else) stuck circling problems.

The good news is that the opposite is also true. When you understand how to stop complaining at work and can communicate in healthier, more positive ways, you teach your brain to look for the upside more often. Once your brain focuses on what you can improve, your newfound optimism can help you to:

  • Boost team productivity.
  • Create stronger relationships.
  • Increase job satisfaction.
  • Bolster creativity.
  • Improve your company's reputation.

Besides, there are also several benefits of positive thinking, such as better mental and physical health. In short, if you want to be more of a hero than a hindrance, practice using your complaints wisely.

Not All Complaining at Work Is Bad

Speaking of complaining wisely, we want to be clear that not all complaints at work are counterproductive or fall into the "malicious gossip"; category. There are times when a complaint or two is absolutely warranted — even necessary.

Consider these examples:

  • Systemic issues. Complaining constructively about recurring problems within your team and company can flag important issues that need to be addressed. This helps your team improve your process and procedures.
  • Work conditions. Unhealthy or unsafe work conditions are never acceptable. Bringing these issues to light can make your work environment safer and more comfortable for all.
  • Unfair Treatment. When you witness discrimination, harassment, or other unfair treatment in the workplace, it’s important to bring it to your supervisor or other relevant parties. Your employee manual should outline the necessary steps.

Keep in mind that the way you complain matters just as much as what you complain about. For every problem you identify, be sure to have a solution handy. Also, if your complaint is with a coworker, try to work it out between the two of you before you bring it to your manager.

How To Stop Complaining at Work: Useful Strategies

Since you're reading this article, chances are you're already self-aware enough to know you have some work to do in the complaining department. It also means you're willing to do what it takes to be a positive influence at work. Kudos to you!

Though quitting your complaints cold turkey isn't realistic because our best habits take time and consideration to cultivate, there are actions you can take today to steer yourself in a better direction. Apply these suggestions to quit complaining in a negative way and help your team improve rather than get bogged down with too much pessimism.

1. Vent In Private

Everyone recognizes work problems that are outside of their control from time to time, such as having competitive coworkers, constantly needing to travel for work, or having a stressful role with little work-life balance. Venting outside of work is beneficial in several ways, such as:

  • Allowing you to let off steam without damaging your reputation.
  • Preventing the spread of harmful information and gossip.
  • Focusing on work during the workday.
  • Maintaining a positive and respectful work environment.

It also increases the chances that the feedback you receive is genuine. Your outside confidantes will feel more comfortable giving you honest feedback.

Here are some ideas for ways you can avoid complaining at work:

  • Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.
  • Keep a journal to work through your thoughts and feelings.
  • Engage in physical activities you enjoy, such as yoga, walking, or running.
  • Channel your energy into creative ventures and hobbies.

Also, be sure to take the time you need away from work to recharge. Stepping away — even for a short time — can help you process your thoughts and put things into perspective.

2. Speak To the Person Directly

When you have an issue with someone at work, you should first try and work it out with them directly (as long as it's not something egregious or harmful, such as harassment or other inappropriate behaviors). This helps you avoid being perceived as a gossip.

For example, imagine that during your lunch break, you moseyed to the refrigerator to find someone had eaten half of your lunch. Your first instinct might be to paste signs all over the office demanding this unidentified Hamburglar cough up your homemade lasagna, but this would cause a distraction few professionals appreciate. Besides, one of your coworkers might simply have mistaken your lunch for their own.

You can't fully grasp how to stop complaining at work until you practice how to resolve conflict and work out your grievances with the person directly involved. This helps you:

  • Keep your concerns between the two of you.
  • Convey the issue clearly and personally.
  • Build trust within your work relationships.
  • Solve the problem with a hands-on approach.

Besides, if you've ever played a game of Telephone, you know firsthand how twisted the initial phrase ends up after it moves through a larger group. Going to the source of your gripe directly ensures your message can be shared effectively and without delay.

To have these conversations effectively, try the following:

  • Prepare for the conversation beforehand to reflect on the issue and get clear about your intended outcome.
  • Have the discussion in private so you can have the discussion without interruption.
  • Clearly state what the issue is and explain it from your perspective without accusation.
  • Listen actively to your coworker's side and do your best to show empathy and understanding.
  • Plan how you both can move forward, and end on a positive note by thanking them for their time.

3. Develop a Positive Mindset

Though you shouldn't sport a rosy outlook regardless of your work environment, there are lots of positives to cultivating an optimistic mindset, including a positive work environment. Not only does it help you stay motivated and productive, but it also:

  • Improves your ability to problem solve.
  • Helps you manage stress.
  • Increases job satisfaction.
  • Builds resilience and perspective.

It also models collaborative behavior for others

To build a positive mindset, practice gratitude regularly and aim to stay curious instead of judgmental. This will help you focus more on the "why" behind your work-related challenges, and as a result, you can better suggest solutions.

4. Make Suggestions for Improvement

Speaking of suggesting solutions, when you shift from complaining to focusing on how to solve your team's problems, it fosters a sense of collaboration and growth. This also helps your coworkers receive constructive criticism with an openness that might otherwise be discouraged by complaining alone.

If you want to be a pro at practicing how to stop complaining at work, ask yourself "What can we do to resolve this?" and "Why did this happen?" Then, be proactive about helping your team address the problems before they escalate. Keep in mind that it doesn't all have to fall on your shoulders. You can invite colleagues to offer their ideas, too.

For example, if your team is behind schedule on gathering data for an important project, offer to help pull in additional resources or find alternative data sources. Next, ask your team to offer their ideas about how you can avoid similar issues in the future.

5. When In Doubt, Wait It Out

Even though you might swear something's amiss, sometimes your best bet is to wait and make sure the issue doesn't resolve on its own. Sometimes people say and do things at work based on incomplete information — and misunderstandings happen all the time. If it's not urgent or glaring, waiting is a perfectly reasonable option.

For example, let's say that your department has an open workspace, and your coworker is talking loudly on the phone, disrupting your concentration. Before you ask your other neighbor what the deal is with Bigmouth, wait to see if it keeps happening or if it's a one-time occurrence. Maybe they had an emergency call or got stuck in an important conversation and didn't make it to a private room in time.

Professionals who know how to stop complaining at work also know that things happen, and people make mistakes. If it becomes a habit, however, you might bring it up with them and kindly ask if there's another place that they can go to make these calls so you can keep on task.

It's also important to wait when you are feeling emotional or angry. When your emotions are heightened, it's never a good time to have a work conversation, since you want to keep things professional and express your concerns effectively.

Instead of complaining right away, consider sleeping on it, gathering more information before you act, and planning your approach. This way, you can go into these conversations with a clear understanding of the issue and a thoughtful solution.

When All Else Fails, Find a New Job

Now you know how to stop complaining at work! But when you've tried to turn your complaints into positive action, and things still aren't getting better, sometimes there's only one thing to do: find a new job. Go ahead and join Monster, and we'll send you the latest jobs that fit your background. Plus, upload your resume, so you'll be ready to apply at a moment's notice to listings that are just the right fit.