When to tell your boss no

Is there ever an appropriate time to say “no” to your boss?

The immediate circumstance that comes to mind is if you’re being asked to do something unethical or illegal — but are there other instances where a “no” is appropriate? What if you simply have too much going on and can’t spare the bandwidth for that new project? What if you’re asked to do something you feel is below your pay grade?

It’s certainly a tricky area; no one wants to come across as being negative or not a team player, but at the same time, there may be legitimate instances when “no” is the right answer to your boss’ request.

Consider the following three situations.

You have no extra bandwidth

Your boss knows the work assigned to you and is in an excellent position to help you reassess priority levels of each project and task. “Just because you are swamped and don't want something to fall through the cracks is no reason to say ‘no’ to your boss,” says Karen Cates, executive coach and lecturer on management and organizations at the Kellogg School of Management.

If you have too much on your plate, rather than saying “no,” Cates recommends asking for your boss’ input in rearranging deadlines and priorities. The ideal reply, explains Cates, would be “No problem, but I'm going to need to sit down with you so we can prioritize the work on my plate."

You’re being set up to fail

No one goes to a carwash to get their teeth cleaned, and for good reason. You want to be working on projects that are remotely within your wheelhouse so you have a reasonable chance at success.

If you’re asked to do something you aren’t comfortable with skill-wise, it may be time for a conversation, says Zachary A. Schaefer is an assistant professor of speech communication at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville and founder of communications consulting firm Mediation and Communication Solutions.

“If you are given a project where none of your skill sets will be used, you need to have the confidence to point that out to your boss rather than risk crashing, burning, and being reprimanded for it. Having a private, short but difficult conversation is better than failing on a large project and potentially damaging your workplace reputation,” says Schaefer.

Bonus: This would be an excellent time to suggest some professional development and offer to be trained on this additional skillset if it will help your company.

The request is unethical or illegal

As I said above, it should go without saying that you shouldn’t compromise your morals or commit a crime for your job. If you’re ever asked to, however, you’ll want to protect yourself.

Once you’ve made it clear you won’t participate, by saying “no” or simply not doing the task, tell someone else what you were asked to do. Cates recommends you “make sure your version of the story is out there so you don't become part of a cover story should the plan go awry.” This incident may be part of something larger and your boss’ boss needs to know about it.